Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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