Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
