You made me cry and you don't even care
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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