Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
