pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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