I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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