I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sext me about skeletons
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize