Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
