you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
