Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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