New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
