my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
