if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
