he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
