Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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