Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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