she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
