I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
