my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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