its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Mom said you looked used
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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