I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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