im six kinds of drunk right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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