Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
