did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
