I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize