felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
