But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
