Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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