I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
