she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
