just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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