You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
