Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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