I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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