im drinking this country out of the recession.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
