I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
