My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize