I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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