i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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