This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
