I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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