You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There's always time for handjobs
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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