I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
