I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You ate ashes out of my bong
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
