He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
