it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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