Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
