we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
