Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
