You smell like stripper and shame
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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