I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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