My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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