Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
