apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
