Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
