I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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