She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
