is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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