well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There r osticjed everywhere
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
