Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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