I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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